You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
