First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
