There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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