who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
