I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
