So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize