I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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