I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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