I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
