please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
