We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
