He uses pillows to masturbate.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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