oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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