I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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