what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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