you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
