Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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