This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You ate ashes out of my bong
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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