omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
