can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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