My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
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Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
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So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.