Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
