Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED