please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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