You really coming over, don't trick.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
