everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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