About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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