She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
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I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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