I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
