Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize