she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
