so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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