her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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