And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
