I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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