There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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