i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize