YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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