I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
