You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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