it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
