There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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