Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
