He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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