If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
