Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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