id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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