Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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