Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
