She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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