Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
