i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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