So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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