Christians are straight up FREAKS
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
