What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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