okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
