I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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