I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
