you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
