last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
