We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it glows. i had to have it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
