Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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