Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm always down for nudity.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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