Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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