also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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