My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize