what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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