Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
