Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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