North Korea, Best Korea!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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